Xena's Messy corner

Brown and Beautiful

2006-01-19T23:29:00.000-08:00

Those large, round and beautiful eyes- like the golden desert at dusk; Robby lay on his side, and kept staring at them through half open eyes. He couldn’t stop looking at them…he simply didn’t want to be pulled into unconsciousness…he hasn’t had enough of this yet...those eyes, they were too magnetic! The fight to stay awake went on as the brown mischievous eyes keep looking at him, watching him lose.

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The little brown teddy, with those big brown eyes, lay wrapped in his hug as he surrendered his little self to blissful slumber!

What did u think?? :-p

An Appeal

2006-01-18T00:16:00.000-08:00

(Om) yam brahma vedanta-vido vadanti
pare pradhanam purusham tathanye
vishvodgateh karanam ishvaram va
tasmai namo vighna-vinashaya

I’ve done all that I can. The rest is left to you and you know what’s best for me…!!

This is a ‘How do I’ week!

2006-01-11T03:06:00.000-08:00

Believe it or not, I’ve consumed at least 15 chocolates, 7 of which were chocolate bars and the rest were tiny, heart shaped rum ‘n raisins, between last Saturday and this Tuesday! Nop, I haven’t got bored yet ‘n find the idea of melting another one in my mouth very appealing!! So, how do I get rid of this sweet tooth syndrome?

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I’ve always wanted to drive a car and when I really did start off with it a month back, I simply loved the experience. The 1st couple of days were uneventful (and for a beginner behind the wheels, uneventful days can be branded as GREAT). On the third day, I had stopped at a signal and before I knew what was happening, the car was moving backwards…Once I realized what was happening, I slammed at the break…but too late, it had already kissed (rather forcefully demanded and obtained a kiss on its bum from) the bus which was standing right behind. My car now has a huge dimple on its hind end and I, in turn, am left with an unconquerable panic at the mere thought of driving. How do I get rid of this driving phobia?

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I have 3 assignments to finish by this Saturday and haven’t as much as started with any of them. Not that I have ample time and waste all of it…but I could do better with a little more planning and prioritizing!! How do I find time to plan out thing? And once planned how do I stick to the plan and still handle unforeseen demands for my time!?

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This week started with a bad hair Sunday and has subsequently continued on with a bad hair Monday, BH Tuesday ‘n a BH Wednesday…huh! :-( Dunno what I did to deserve 4 of these bad hair days in as close a succession as they can ever come in!! How do I manage my hair better?

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I set the alarm in my mobile every night and have mastered the art of switching it off in my sleep, when it rings. Came across this some where…

Hope is the dream of the waking man
Dream is the hope of the sleeping man
Sleep is the dream of the working man

…..and found it very disturbing, for sleep seems to be the only thing I always hope for!!! How do I motivate myself and shrug off this languor?

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Do let me know if you have any tips or tricks that would help me with these! Hey..did I mention that I’ve simply turned crazy about skirts and have bought about 8 of them in the last 10 days. Black, blue, red...u name it; I have it!

How do I skirt skirts?? hm? :-/

In a sweet little world...

2006-01-05T06:29:00.000-08:00

It was 8.30 and stars were twinkling, happily, in the sky. Little Rini sat by the window of her room with a book on her lap. She could hear the television downstairs. The pine tree that stood close to her window rustled in the wind. On any other night, she would have spent a while with her Father discussing the happenings of the day, brushed her teeth, read a story or two from her favorite fable book and gone to sleep; but tonight was different. She had bypassed all her rituals and had even bluntly refused her Mom’s offer to read her a few stories. She could simply not think about anything else. What would she do tomorrow!?

Her thought process was interrupted by a loud hollow laugh from the room right below hers… ‘Prathap Uncle…hmm!’ she thought ‘Why did he have to be here today?!...shuks!’ Her Dad would have left to UK before she wakes up the next morning! She simply wanted to bring all the clocks in the world to a halt…give them some respite from their never ending chore, and keep her Dad with her. Her little face tightened with an annoyed frown. Somehow her little world seemed to fall apart. Not having her Dad around for a few days would mean too much of a vacuity. As if this wasn’t enough, she has had a fight with the nightmarish PT teacher’s daughter, Nidi, that day. Nidi had promised to convey this to her Mom and get Rini punished during the PT hour the next afternoon. She was sure that she would be caned by the PT teacher, the way Ritosh was when he poured a hand full of mud into Bobby’s ear. What would she do?

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Her heart was heavy and the film of water that had formed in her eyes threatened to wet her cheeks any minute. Pinky had fought with her and wouldn’t have lunch with her. She couldn’t swallow the tiny piece of chapatti that she had in her mouth. She was chewing it noiselessly and with her mouth shut, the way her Dad had told her to. She sat all alone in one corner of the class room. PT hour was just an hour away. She closed her little purple lunch box and put it back in her bag. Pinky was staring at her from another corner of the class room. Rini walked out of the class room to the huge garden on one side of the school. Nobody seemed to care. She sat among the roses and cried her heart out.

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She looked at her little pink watch. The smiling Barbie in the watch didn’t care a damn about this teary state she was in. She kept smiling sweetly. It was 12 minutes to 1. Her Dad had taught her how to read time from a non-digital watch. The more she thought about her Dad, the more she missed him. She sat there swinging her little legs to and fro. ‘He isn’t even aware of this mess I am in. He is so far away!’ she thought.

“Sweetie, shaking your legs like that isn’t a good habit… haven’t I told you before?”

“Daddy…” she whirled around! There he was walking hand in hand with Pinky.

She rushed to him with extended hands and was lifted up as always. A canceled flight and proximity of her School to the airport had brought him back to her just when she needed him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, rested on his shoulder and poured out all her worries to him. Her Father resolved all her problems and hand shakes with Nidi and Pinky happened in a jiffy. He even spoke to her PT teacher (who amazingly smiled as she spoke to her Dad) and took Rini with him.

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In a short while she found herself sitting in the car with the seat belt on, licking a choc bar and discussing her classmates with her Dad.

“Daddyyy…”

“Yes Sweetieee…”

*giggle* “…You said ‘sweetie’ in just the same tone that I used for ‘daddy’….Why did you do that Daddy?.... Are you a copy cat? “ *giggle*

“ hmm… so, you say I shouldn’t imitate you! Yeah?”

“Imiatee… What does that mean?”…

“Its IMITATE honey……..

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“ Daddyyy… Is the PT teacher scared of you?”…..

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“Why did you call me ‘Sweetie’ when Pinky was with you?...I’m a grown up gal, can’t you understand?? …”

“Am sorry honey………………….

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As the car sped through the picturesque roads of that hilly town, there were at least two souls perfectly in harmony with life and there was at least one little soul who resolutely believed that there isn’t anything that her Dad can’t possibly accomplish in this world!

This story is a queer blend of past incidents and future prospects, and is dedicated to two people
1) My Dad whose birthday is round the corner- All through my life, amidst problems of various sorts, I’ve derived tremendous strength from the unflinching affection of my Father. Hats off to his dedication towards work and his crude affection for the ones dear to him!
2) A Man who, I think, will make a wonderful Father when the time comes (dunno when!?) – I’m yet to meet a more patient and level headed soul. His kid/s (when they begin to exist) could certainly be considered most fortunate!

Cupid in action

2006-01-02T23:11:00.000-08:00

There he was, sitting right across the table, with ruffled hair and gleaming eyes. He was dressed in jeans, a white T-shirt and a white and blue, stripped shirt over it. I was in one of my favorite black spaghetti straps and pink jeans with a black shawl carefully wrapped ‘carelessly’ around my neck. I had on a pendent with shimmering grey stones that shone in the semi darkness. The light from the candle, the neat little restaurant, tasty food, him, sitting there, savoring the food, his occasional chatter about things that he had either read or heard of, with a pinch of simplicity, a teaspoon of practicality and in a ‘I know it, I am the creator of this theory and I’m confident about it’ tone…for a while life seemed too complete and too perfect to be true.

This would be our last dinner together and as I sat looking at the Man who sat right across from me, I simply couldn’t help wondering…

What could it be?? ......

He always looks around curiously like a young feline, alert and passionate for details- Could that be it?, I wonder!

His thirst for knowledge and perfection that motivates me to be better…Could that be it?

The way he sometimes blurts things that could annoy me and once done, the way he looks at me with searching eyes to know if I’m hurt….

The way he cares for me, holds me tight and walks me through life…..

Our never ending tussles over EVERYTHING…..

He, pacifying me after a strenuous fight…

He not doing it sometimes…

The Parent in him, who chides me all day…

The Child in him that’s too angelic and sweet at times and driving me crazy at other times...

The Man; who makes me want to have him alllll to myself alwaysss…

The way he yells…

His silence…like the deep sea…

His smile, that makes me forget everything that’s unpleasant …

He being my best friend and faithful companion…

The way he simply melts my problems into nothing, by his mere presence…

I could keep thinking all day about him, about things that I like in him and new things that I discover everyday and fall in love with….but, what could it be…??

‘Hey, what are you thinking??’ he asked, with that trillion dollar smile of his. I simply nodded and smiled, but kept thinking as we had our last dinner of 2005 together! ;-)

What is it that holds me hostage?? What is it that has cast a spell and made me his? What is it that makes me fall head long in love, over and over again with this ‘stranger’? I know not….but I shall definitely wait to see him again, for him to hold me tight, to melt my problems into nothing and for us to have our first dinner of 2006 together!

Can life be any more perfect than it is?

Dedicated to HIM, of course!! ;-)

Luscious stuff- Just for you!!!

2005-12-30T05:09:00.000-08:00

From the bottom of my broken heart:

2005-12-27T02:47:00.000-08:00

It’s as if we had the New Year eve bash a couple of weeks back and now the year is more or less out of my hands like a kite, held loosely, slipping out of ones grip and flying away!

I just can’t believe that it’s over so soon. It’s been a year of surprises for me, a few of them pleasant and the rest of them very unpleasant. I haven’t grown much…well....I haven’t grown at all, in any sense. There have been many changes in my life. In the middle of all the hush and rush, I’ve even missed out the first anniversary of this messy corner….not that it’s important, ‘cos it’s more dead than alive. Many thanks to me.

I’ve initiated several things this year, but I simply haven’t produced any results. When I sit back and appraise myself, I look dull compared to so many people I know, people of my age…some of them even younger, who have produced strongly positive results. Every year, till now, has had something to be happy about at the end of it; something significant; something that would act as a motivator to help me go ahead. Somehow, this year, I’m left with nothing of the sort. It’s been unfathomably and incredibly static. What have I not done??..or what have I done??, I’m yet to figure out!

Have been thinking about it for the past few days (YES, the weekend was terrible). Possibly, things were just not destined to work out for me this year. Possibly, I just didn’t do things right! Possibly I didn’t do the right things at all. Probably I wasn’t committed enough. Possibly, this is a curse on me for some misdeed. The list can go on…but the bottom line is, I’m left with a year washed out of my hands….I’m left with nothing…not even the confidence to go on!

It could have been luck (or the lack of it), it could have been destiny but it could have been a little better than it is, had I put in more effort. I can only blame myself, my lack of commitment and my lethargy! This isn’t the first time I’m making a mistake in life and this certainly wouldn’t be the last.

Today I don’t have a success story behind me that compels me to maintain any standards. I only have a painfully strong desire to grow, to achieve, to excel, to be a winner, to simply be the very best. I know not, how I’ll fill the gap between what is and what I wish for!

The force that’s held my hand and led me through the woods and valleys of life will certainly elevate me out of this dark pit. The needs of the hour are patience, focus and commitment. This phase too shall pass!

Dear blog pal, I’m glad you took time out to read this post which has nothing of interest or significance. To make up for all the lethargy and defocus, I shall write a post on this gap, on 27th Dec 2006 by which time, I hope to have closed it entirely and started off filling other gaps. This is a promise I make to myself and to every reader of this blog. Let this kite fly away and diminish into a tiny speck of color against the bright blue sky. There are many more kites to fly; kites that I’ll handle with great care and will find myself happily releasing when the time comes! Have a wonderful year!!!! :-)

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2005-12-22T01:22:00.000-08:00

She looked out of the window of her two storied house that stood all alone, tall and proud, with only pines for company. Crisp looking white crystalline ice covered the roofs, tree and the streets. There were a few houses in the distance, very small ones, cramped up. A chill breeze was blowing. The moon was high up, but did not attempt to lend any warmth to this land. All the elements of nature seem to be muted and in mourning…but strangely in white!

She quickly shut the window after a brief wrestle with the wind. 'Too vacant and too cold outside', she thought.

The fire was burning bright in the fire place and glossed the room in gold. She walked to the kitchen with a smile and made herself a tea. She brought the tea over to the fire place and stood looking into the tea for a while. The lemony fragrance was inviting and the translucent brown color was all the more alluring when light fell on it.

She picked up a book from the rack and sat by the fire place, sipping the tea, engrossed in the aroma and flavor of both the tea and the book. She had almost finished the tea and a few pages of the book. The clock in the study was ticking. She could hear the wind outside. Occasionally a dog barked in the distance. The shadows of objects in the room loomed up on the walls. She suddenly felt a pang within, an urge to be anything but alone.

She rushed to the window and opened it wide. The wind rushed at her face. The houses at the distance looked chirpy and pleasant. A few people were standing huddled together near one of those houses. She thought the host must be seeing the guests off after dinner. Everything outside- the people, the trees, the bushes, the grass, the snowman at a distance; was glossed in silvery moon light.

She turned around. The room looked cold and vacant with the fire staring into her teary eyes.

Dunno y I wrote this ‘n simply couldn’t think of a title! Suggestions r most welcome :-)

Laugh away the blues

2005-10-05T01:43:00.000-07:00

Is there anything in this world that a curvature of the lips cannot set right??

China Town :)

2005-08-25T07:26:00.000-07:00

I was sitting at the far end, towards the left in that dimly lit Chinese restaurant. One single lantern placed in the center of the room was where all the light came from. The room was bright at the center and grew darker towards the walls. The corners were the darkest. I wasn’t in the corner. I was a trifle bit closer to the light as if I wanted people to be aware of my presence but not know what I was up to.

There was enough light in there to move around without knocking anything down but not enough light to perceive the details of what was served. There was enough light to see the stature and movement of people entering the threshold but not enough to notice any flaws they may have about them. Enough light for me!

There were some eerie paintings in, red and black, on the walls. A huge stone dragon stood at the right most corner of the room, its tail end hidden away in the semi darkness, its fierce eyes shining, presumably with rage and fire gushing out of its nasal cavities every few minutes. Had I been drunk, I would have blanked out at the first sight of this creature.

The music that was being played (of what kind it was, I know not) was very soothing to my ears. Not many people seem to have chosen to enjoy Chinese cuisine on that Thursday evening. They were dispersed with most of them sitting closer to the walls of the room, closer to the darkness…

I was munching my food a little noisily hoping it would be masked by the music. There wasn’t anybody sitting close to where I was anyways. I looked up as I masticated every mouth full, and watched the others in the room. After a while, the door opened for the first time since I got in, and two men stepped in.

One of them was dressed in brown and appeared quiet plain. The other was dressed in white and was considerably good looking. They walked in and occupied a table diagonally opposite to mine. They kept talking to each other in muffled voices. “Must be barely audible even to each other”, I thought. Probably, that’s that they thought too, for in a short while they were both louder.

I had no intention to eves lope, but, I simply couldn’t help listening to their conversation.

Man In White (MIW) -“I told her that I won’t be home for dinner and that I'm planning to go out for dinner with a friend. She wasn’t the least bit annoyed…!”

Man In Brown (MIB)-“OK. So what!!?”

MIW- “You don’t understand. She is never like this. All that she asked was an uninterested ‘where?’ I feel orphaned”

MIB-“I don’t get this man. You bothered because she is letting you do what you want? Funny don’t u think” *laughs

MIW-*Looks irritated* “This is no joke Rakesh. This is my life we are talking about and you are my best buddy. She has been very detached for the past few weeks and I strongly fear that she has found someone more interesting! ”

MIB-*Stops laughing and listens*

MIW-“Perhaps I haven’t been paying her as much attention as I should. I think I made a mistake. I really am ready to mend my ways, if only I’m given a chance”

MIB-“Why don’t you ask her straight? That should help”

MIW-“No. I wouldn’t be able to handle it if she affirms my fears. She is just too dear to me”

MIB-“What’s the point in imagining things and keeping all these thoughts to yourself. Have you done anything to find out what she thinks?”

MIW-“Yes. I finally have. I’ve asked some one to keep track of what she does today. I’ve been away all day and will go home late. I shall give that guy a call before I go to bed. I should get a clear picture of what she is up to”

MIB-“Holyyy shit!!! How could you do something so cheap? Just imagine what she would do if she comes to know of this”

MIW-“Ever imagined what my life is like not knowing the truth?”

There wasn’t a word spoken for a while, just the sounds of cutlery and crockery and my munching. The two men were finished with their dinner and left in silence.

I was finished too. Dinner was good- tasty and entertaining. I gave a moderately loud burp again hoping that it would be masked by the music. “The two men have left and there isn’t anybody sitting anywhere near …m..”before I could finish thinking this thought, I jumped out of my skin. There was something behind me. For a few seconds, the ambiance, the heavy dinner and the huge dragon breathing fire, staring from the other end of the room did havoc.

I composed myself and realized that it was after all someone and not something. There were soft muffled sobs of a woman. She started speaking in a clear crisp voice. “Has a good voice. Must be a tele-marketing person” I thought.

“Hello…hello..Nimmi…” there was a pause presumably because the person at the other end was responding.

“Yes I did as per the plan and I’ve been wrong all along. Oh, how glad I am Nimmi” *sobs*

*Why is she glad because she is wrong* (I thought)

The woman finally was out of the dark corner. She was strikingly beautiful and agile. She walked over to the table that the two men had occupied. It had been cleaned and was ready for occupation. She sat on the very chair that the MIW had occupied a while back and continued talking.

“Would you believe this? He has had the same doubts about me as I had about him and has actually been staying away to check how I react and what I do”..*pause*

Nimmi kept talking for a long time …or so I felt!!!

“I’ve been such a fool. I thought he was away because he was interested in someone else…You were right . I was way too hasty”

*pause* Nimmi talks a lot for sure

“I’m so relieved. Ok, its getting late. I should get home …ok..*Nimmi talks*..ok…*Nimmi talks*.. sure.. cayaa tomorrow “

The lady dropped her phone into her bag and hurried out.

I was amazed and delighted, both at the same time. I paid the bill and stepped out. It was chill outside. I tucked my hands into my pockets to keep myself warm.

As I started walking towards home, I wondered how good a spy this Man would have employed…. I wondered how the man would react if his spy told him that his lady love was actually in that very restaurant on this Thursday evening!!! After all, what better way to entertain oneself - observe the most and imagine the rest. I chuckled to myself and walked on.

Did u ask me something??;-)

2005-05-23T08:02:00.000-07:00

Go ahead; Laugh your way to gloryyy! :D

A come back:

2005-05-20T22:08:00.000-07:00

It’s been a while since I posted anything on this ‘messy corner’ and I’ve really missed you all very much! If you wanna know what I’ve been through in the past 2 months- I’ve had a few small victories and some disappointments. I’ve been slogging endlessly with a certain mission deeply rooted in my head and haven’t reaped any rewards as yet. I’ve also been reading alllll the blog posts of alllll my friends- Eroteme, Phantom, DV, Sangeeta, Trouv, Chitra,V…but haven’t been commenting on any of them.

In fact, reading all these blogs is the treat I give myself after slogging all day. They are all as irresistible as they always were to me. Have even bumped upon a few interesting blogs that had links from these blogs.

Anyways, am BACK; a trifle bit wiser than I was a couple of months back- a trifle bit more grown up and malleable- with a little more of patience and a little less of pride; but with the same degree of fortitude and zest!!!

It feels great to be back ! :)

Treasure pressure

2005-03-31T01:24:00.000-08:00

He was watching every move of hers. She kept talking as she moved around the kitchen, opening jars and closing them. He had managed to keep every pot, pan and jar at just the wrong place. Unwashed vessels lay in a heap in the sink. On the granite slab, there was clear evidence of a sticky something having been spilt and wiped off clumsily. The kitchen was a mess. “How does he manage this?” she couldn’t help wondering.

Theirs was a typical middle class house of the 1970s, with a not too sophisticated kitchen and a neat little vegetable garden behind the kitchen. Sun rays streamed through the window and there was a gentle breeze blowing.

Mrs. Rati Kapoor was back after a short stay at her sister’s place. She had planned to return on Monday but was back a day earlier because there were no tickets available for the Sunday evening's train. She was now in the process of taking the kitchen from the chaotic state that it was in to a state of normalcy and simultaneously making a pepper rasam. She kept glancing accusingly at her husband who stood at the door way leading to the vegetable garden. He had offered to plant the saplings that she had brought from her sister’s garden.

“ Is it too difficult for you to place a jar back in the place that you take it from?. What’s the difficulty in doing that, may I know please?”. She paused to look around and continued “How can any body cook in the middle of all this mess???”

The 70 year old man stood there with eyes slightly lowered and firmly set on some object at the other end of the wall.

“You’ve managed to set a record my dear. You’ve successfully messed the kitchen up every time I’m away, since the time we got married”

He still said nothing. This was so unlike him. For one thing, he wouldn’t keep standing here like this. He would be too busy with his eyes and mind glued to the newspaper or the television, to bother about what she had to say. Even if he did listen to her, he would just say “I haven’t committed some crime for God’s sake. So stop cribbing and let me live in peace will you?”

Rati was amazed. He hasn’t said a word.

She had more or less set things right. The peppery fragrance of the rasam filled the air. She was about to move out of the kitchen when she suddenly noticed that one of the jars had no lid on. She couldn’t find it anywhere around. She bend down to see if it was somewhere underneath. He started wiggling his muddy hands uneasily. Before she could take a proper look, there was a sharp pain in her ailing back and she straightened herself quickly.

“I wouldn’t be complaining if I had the stamina to clean things up.” she said with a deep sigh.

“ I wish you would understand. I’m old and tired too”

He still stood there with his eyes lowered. The silence seemed to last for ever. Mrs. Rati stood with one hand on her aching back. He felt sorry for her. Suddenly, the telephone started ringing. Sunil Kapoor stood there with his hands still muddy and with no intention of moving. Rati nodded her head in disapproval and slowly walked out of the kitchen.

Sunil could hear her excited voice responding to her friend and neighbor Mrs. Sharma. He heaved a sigh of relief. This conversation can never last for anything lesser than half an hour, at the 'least'. He smiled to himself. He slowly washed the mud off his hands.

He had got back after his morning walk and was shocked to see Rathi waiting outside when he got back. He was sufficiently health conscious, but she was immensely so- especially if it is his health, at stake. She had been pleased to see him up and about so early. “Oh my gosh! What will I do now?” he had thought.

He wiped his hands in the blue towel hanging near the sink and walked towards the row of jars on the other end of the kitchen. His eyes lowered (again) looking at something in the bottommost shelf. Once there, he slowly bend down and picked up a plate. The missing lid had been placed on top of the plate, concealing something. He lifted the plate with care, and sat comfortably on the little stool. He removed the lid and looked fondly at the ladoo which started rolling on the plate.

He had successfully saved his little treasure. He has had to give up eating sweets since the time he was diagnosed with diabetes a few years back and Rati was too particular about it. With medication, having a piece of sweet once a week was ok- the doctor had told so. He had bought this ladoo last evening with hopes of having it this morning and as luck might have it Rati had got back just on time to make this difficult.

He could hear her laughing. She was still on the phone. He smiled as he picked up the ladoo and slowly sunk his teeth in.

Sweet Success

2005-03-22T23:36:00.000-08:00

Life has taught me time and again that it simply isn’t a cake walk. I re-learnt this lesson once again last weekend.

Too many things happened in a span of 48 hours and I definitely don’t intend to bug you with all the details of how I got scorched in the sun, got garnished with dust ‘n smoke and felt like a cave gal.

If you wondering what I was up to- no, I wasn’t working in some quarry, in pursuit of adventure. I would rather curl up on the couch than go in for any such tedious adventure, if you know me well. I was actually out on a house hunt.

After getting to Bangalore, I had meticulously planned to spend the 1st one week at a guest house and find a house for myself over the weekend. It went on pretty well till Friday, excepting for the smell of something burning and an ugly, big hole in my pocket. The real ‘fun’ started on Saturday.

I was up early, bright and beaming, like a second sun. I was gonna rent a house all by myself for the 1st time and felt very grown up. I had a sandwich and some orange juice for breakfast, all the while dreaming about the kind of house that I would choose and how I would make MY OWN sandwich and orange juice in MY kitchen. I put on my red Adidas cap, thrust the city map that I had bought the previous evening into my pocket and was all set to leave by 8am. The show started giving clear indications of moving towards being a glorious flop when the real–estate broker did not turn up till 8.30am. He wasn’t going to be there today. For whatever reason, he was gonna come the next day. He ‘promised’.

Very soon, I found myself straying the roads of Koramangala with one of those yellow colored ad papers in one hand and my mobile in the other. The main roads in Koramangala were not the least bit like the lanes inside. The lanes didn’t show any trace of sophistication what so ever and were perfect gullies. I checked out some of the weirdest and funniest dwellings in the city that afternoon. All of them were considerably huge. One of the houses opened straight into the bedroom and had a succession of rooms, all in a straight line, one after the other. In another one, every guest of yours, who crosses the threshold of your house, will have to pass through the kitchen before he/she can get to the drawing room. The highlight was a house with a loo attached to the kitchen (Is this a GIGO concept or what? for God’s sake). I am not one of those secretive people who would keep my life completely out of reach from my kith and kin ‘n am no celebrity, but taking every person at my door step straight into my kitchen or bed room is a bit too far fetched by any standards. Much more far fetched and unappetizing is the idea of having a loo inside my kitchen.

These challenges did not break my resolve to find a house by the end of the two days. I tried every source I could think of and people definitely were kind. Only that their kindness did not yield the desired result. The rest of the two days passed on with uncomfortable auto rides, attempting to filter out traces of oxygen somewhere amidst all the carbon monoxide, by holding a handkerchief over the nose and mouth, calling up friends, aunts, uncles, real-estate guys and distant cousins (I never even knew of the existence of some of these relatives till Saturday), munching something or the other for lunch, waiting for people on road sides and in restaurants and getting shocked by the layout of some of these house.

By 6.30 pm on Sunday, all the optimism had drained out of my system and I was kinda sure that I would have to continue staying in the same guest house for another week (at least) .To aim for something and to not be able to achieve it- gives you a pretty bad feeling.

I wasn’t gonna give up. I decided to keep looking till 9pm. Fortune favored me finally (Fortune does favor the brave, you know?!). I found a house to my liking by 8.30 or so- many thanks to a friend of mine.

I got back to the guest house at around 10pm, exhausted but triumphant. Life isn’t a cake walk and success doesn’t come easily (not always), but it’s the hardships involved that make it sweeter when it finally comes. I hit the bed at around 11pm with the sweet taste of success still lingering in my mind. I would soon be making sandwiches, orange juice and very many things in MY kitchen :D

Ruse x Truce

2005-03-10T00:43:00.000-08:00

Nita’s face was red with rage. How could he do this to her?

Amit was engrossed in transferring his stack of shirts one after another, from his wardrobe to the suitcase which he had placed on the cot, close to where the closet stood.

He took out a pink shirt, the one she had spent about 2 hours to choose. It was neatly folded and pressed. He held it with care and stood there for a minute. Nita could see that he was trying to decide whether to take it or not. He finally placed it carefully back. He wasn’t going to take this one. He did not even want the shirt that she had picked for him, she thought.

Nita was sitting at one edge of the large wooden cot, diagonally opposite to where the suitcase was placed. She had a book on her lap. Her eyes appeared to be glued to the pages of the book, but her mind simply wouldn’t absorb or register anything from the page that was in front of her. ‘You’ve been betrayed’, her mind kept telling her. Nita kept track of every single move of his. Why had he married her? How on earth did she make the mistake of marrying a man who had no respect for her feelings? She wondered.

Amit disliked carrying too much baggage and always preferred to travel with as less as he could manage with. She knew that pretty well, but 1 suitcase was all that he had packed for a year's stay. This was too less by any standards. ‘Why should I tell him that? I really don’t care what he does’, she told herself.

Amit was whistling as he carelessly picked up his hair brush and dropped it into the suitcase. He was all set. He had just uttered those words and started packing. It had been so easy for him. He had not taken a second look at her to see how she reacted. ‘Why would he do that? Why would he want to know how she felt when he wasn’t the least bit concerned about it?’, Nita was fuming within.

They’ve been married for just 6 months and now he was prepared to leave to the US on an assignment for a year. They had already discussed it a week back and she had made it very clear that she wasn’t ok with the plan. It was a Saturday and they were on their way to visit one of his many aunts. She always admired the way he drove, with ease and confidence.

He was always quick, steady and silent…always, not just behind the wheels.

“I have a surprise for you” he had said with a smile. She was taken aback, for he was not the kind that gave gifts. He never has, not even for her birthday, the first one after they got married. “I’ve been chosen for an assignment. It would go on for a year and we could go together…”. He had suggested that she could take up a job there or just take a break for a year and get herself a job once they get back. She had listened to all that he had to say and had finally told him that this plan wasn’t workable. Why was he expecting her to let go off her job? After all her career is as important as his, she reasoned.

He parked the car close to the gate, in front of his Aunt’s sprawling house and said “If this isn’t ok, then there’s only one way out “ She didn’t bother to ask him what it was for it was clear to her that he was talking about forgoing this assignment. She could sense how much it meant to him and felt a pang of guilt. She shrugged it off and it was all forgotten.

This morning he had been to the office- Unusual for a Saturday. He was back at 12pm and had told her that he must start right away. He said that and had started packing.

Silence can sometimes be unbearable and that’s just how it was to Nita. Her whole life was falling apart. She cared so much for him but he really didn’t care about leaving her here for a year. She didn’t know that he had been preparing for the trip in spite of all that she had told him the other day. ‘Have I been too busy to notice?’, she wondered.

She threw the book away and walked to the drawing room. She switched on the television. She just didn’t want silence. Why was he always silent? Why can’t he just say something? He has always been this way, whether she was angry or sulky; cheerful or bored, he was always silent. She hated it the most.

It was time to make some firm decisions. If he didn’t care about her, and her presence or absence was of no consequence to him then it’s best to leave him alone, she thought. They should part ways. She decided that she would accompany him to the airport and would let him know what she thought.

He was behind the wheels. She still admired the way he drove and thought this might possibly be the last time she would be able to admire it. This trivial thought induced an avalanche of emotions within her. She just could not imagine a life sans Amit. She held back the tears that threatened to flow out any minute. He meant everything to her, but that didn’t matter because she meant nothing to him, she thought sadly. All her dreams of starting a family together, designing a house and building it…all the plans she had for their life together were just dreams and would soon be forgotten.

They were almost there. Amit was wondering what was going on in Nita’s mind. He knew her too well. She had always been impulsive and hasty, very quick at reaching conclusions. Aggressive and possessive to the core she always was. He would miss her and her endless chatter. He always preferred silence to noise but she was one noise he simply couldn’t do without now. He parked the car.

Amit turned to look at Nita. She was deep in thought and looked very serious. He stifled a smile and asked “What would you like me to get for you? ” .
..........
There was no response.

He placed his hand on her shoulder. She pushed it off.

“I don’t want anything. You don’t have to spend your hard earned money on some one who means nothing to you, besides, when have you bought me a gift?”

“What’s the matter with you Nitu? I didn’t realize that you care for gifts. Fine why don’t you tell me what you want?”

“Amit, I’ve thought a lot and come to the conclusion that I’m not all that important to you. If you can do without me now, you can do without me for life.”

He tried to interrupt but she held out her hand, gesturing him to stop. She went on and on for a few minutes.

“I’ve never been important to you. I’ve always wanted you to spend time with me, but you’ve always had better things to do. You would rather watch a cricket match than talk to me. I’m used to getting gifts on occasions but you don’t care enough to give me any. It’s not a question of the monetary value of the gift; it’s the mere act of giving a gift that I value immensely. You simply don’t care. I’ve told you so much about my dreams for our life together. You’ve never had anything to say because you don’t love me enough to think of a life together…” she paused to catch her breath and continued.

“You now want to go on this trip and you pretty well know that I don’t want you to. If you can go this far and stay away for this long then we might as well stay apart for the rest of our lives”. She stopped and looked straight into his eyes. Her eyes were brimming with tears but she was too proud to cry now.

Amit couldn’t hold himself from laughing any longer. Amidst ripples of laughter he pulled Nita to him and gave her a kiss.

“Nitu, why would you choose to leave me just because I’m going on a trip to Pune for 10 days?”

She couldn’t believe her ears. What was he saying now? As they walked towards the airport, he explained.

“If not that one, I simply had to accept this assignment and that’s what I meant when I said that there’s only 1 other way out, the other day…..remember? You weren’t happy with the surprise I gave you the other day, so I decided to give you an interesting surprise this time. So, how did you like this one?” He was laughing again.

Nita playfully slapped him on his back and quivered “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

“Well, you didn’t bother to ask me what it was when I told you that there was only 1 other way….did you?” He ruffled her hair as he always did when he thought he had convinced her about something and held her close as they walked on together.

Sky is the lower limit

2005-03-08T02:13:00.000-08:00

Do you know my lass
what man once thought?
He thought theres a place where
The earth touches the sky.
He craved to find out where
And rode on and on until one day
It dawned on him that
This is a horizon

It may seem a vain mission to you.
Contemplate my lass!
Had he not chased that line which marked the end of land
And the beginning of skies, would he have known that
The earth is a sphere?

Destiny paints definite pictures.
Every cause has an effect and
Every mission undertaken purposefully is rewarded with victory.
Fear not of what might be behind;
Fear not of what tomorrow holds;

Dare my gal, dare to dream;
And chase your dreams.
Get yourself addicted to success;
The day isn’t far when you would be
Living your dreams and making new ones.

Never let the fire in your heart die down, come what may
Sand storms or snow fall; rain or shine.
Let the fire always BE!

The Present

2005-03-07T01:30:00.000-08:00

Theres this adage- ‘Life is like an ice cream. Eat it before it melts’

I strongly concur with this. There is just 1 life and we would better make the most of it. The present is a present, a gift given to us. The past would have left behind some very pleasant memories had we dealt with every moment in the past the right way. If we do the right things now, future wouldn’t be a disaster- at least not because of us.

The best course of action is to keep the lessons learnt from past experiences in mind, with some foresight and some planning for the future, act on what ever needs to be acted upon at present.

This is what The Present by Spencer Johnson is all about. It’s thoroughly engaging and is all about how a lad who indefatigably attempts to identify what the ‘hidden’ present is and finally succeeds after he grows into manhood.

The content of this book is doubtlessly the key to success, for, without the application of one’s mind, there isn’t any scope for development. The mind that wanders around in the woods, valleys and deserts of the past with dreams and nightmares about the future will never be able to stay focused.

There’s nothing new. Some facts which every human mind is very much aware of but unconsciously ignores are captured and presented brilliantly. It’s a Present colorfully wrapped in a story and is definitely worth every penny you dish out for it. Do read!

If you look at the past, present and future as these 3 little angles - The Present is nestled between the past and the future. It is fast asleep, just as our minds generally are to the present. The past and the future are alert and awake- the way they are in our minds.

The past tries to arouse the present- It is from the past that the present gets thoughts, ideas and the context itself. The future looks on with curious eyes to see how the present would react ‘cos it heavily depends on the present. So, are you all set to unwrap and work on the most precious present?

We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.
~Anais Nin

Shop till you drop..lady! :)

2005-02-23T21:49:00.000-08:00

This has been a week of revelations for me. *giggle*

I’ve discovered some truths and am more than willing to share them with you. This generosity is not without a pinch of selfishness though! ;)

What follows is a mishmash of sense ‘n nonsense. Here we go….

The fair sex being charged with allegations of spending an abominable amount of time and money on shopping is as old as the charge against Eve for getting tempted by the forbidden fruit….well, almost as old.

Thanx to Dan Brown. I now know that nobody has any reason to be annoyed with Eve. ’The Da Vinci Code’ has been an eye opener. If you haven’t read it yet, you are missing something far too interesting to be missed by any body who can read.

Hmm, but is there anything wrong if one is a dame with the gene for shopping tightly twisted to every cell on herself ? ..I mean, it’s just that we’ve been doing this job of ‘gathering’ the necessities tastefully and sensibly for generations and that’s just why we still have a tendency to do it now.

Anyways, what I think matters not. Research has revealed the sweet..hmm bitter..huh whatever TRUTH. Women actually find shopping a chore and they HATE to shop.

Note the color of the line trailing the path taken by the woman to shop (in the pic) ;) It’s red. Shows that the poor lady is doing it in spite of her tiredness and dislike for the act. Also shows how dedicated she is. She checks out every other shop on her way to GAP and compares prices (shes tired… mind you! ‘n doesn’t want to do this at all) before she makes a purchase. In the process, she finds many other things that are required and picks them up as well (not just for herself….not necessarily heehee! :D).

So guys, when the women in your life shop, they are doing you a favor! High time you stop cribbing ‘n start recognising (in which ever way u think best) their effort to make life easier for you! ;)

Laughter is an orgasm triggered by the intercourse of sense and nonsense.
~Author Unknown

Muted….but still thinking!

2005-02-21T22:29:00.000-08:00

Some thoughts are like ghosts.

Short ‘n sweet. No…am not talking about some poem…am talking about a gal I knew. We went to the same school for a year. We came across each other frequently, me and that gal, at school. She had spectacles on and looked very confident. She was as old as I was and her class room was adjacent to mine. I had got habituated to rubbing the board, standing at the tail end of any line we formed and occupying one of the last few benches, owing to my height. Her experience must have been quite the opposite ‘cos she was the shortest in her class. I used to notice the constant presence of a smile on her face. She was always busy talking. We’d just smiled at each other once or twice and spoken to each other a few times. She was just another gal in my school.

I was an introvert by choice. I never did any talking until and unless I had to. I sometimes would simply say that I don’t know something, even if I did know it, if explaining it to the person concerned would mean a lot of talking. I used to be happy on my own. No big dreams…no ambitions…no worries….no friends…nobody at home to talk to. It was just me, my stuff and my thoughts in my little room…defocused and insecure.

End of that year, we took our own paths and I never saw her for the next few years. Years rolled by and school days were over in a jiffy. I was in college. Life had taught me some tough lessons by then. I had traded fears for visions. I had big plans. I’ve had my share of sorrows, the sorrows that left me with a new surge of energy. There were many changes- physical, emotional, psychological…. I was full of spirit and confidence. I had many friends. So, there I was with a naughty mind on my shoulders, a silent devil, still with my thoughts in my little room…fully focused and fearless.

Meeting people you already know is one of the commonest occurrences in any college. There were hell a lot of known faces. This gal was there too. Her class was on the 3rd floor, mine on the 2nd. I don’t remember when and how we started yapping and for what reason under the sun, but from the day we started, there was NO looking back. I found myself waiting for the lunch break every day. The minute the lecturers in our respective classes left, Vroommmm…2 wizards would disappear from the class rooms. The rest of the lunch break was thorough fun. We talked about every damn thing- You know what….I think I’ll do this in the next 5 years….Dad yelled at me this morning..it was’nt my fault….I hate that gal in my class…. This teacher is a perfect pain in the ass….What about the weekend?....Do you believe in ghosts?....Did you see that guy in red..smart!...Life is tough, u know!-*giggles*…*sobs*…*angry outbursts*.....*laffs*….*mental wheels at work in full throttle*……..

It was not just fun. It was much more. This friendship taught me that it’s important to take life as it comes, take everything in my strides and move ahead. Life had not been easy for her. In fact, my loss didn’t seem to be as mammoth as hers. She had not lost just one but many things in life…things that every person ought to have and enjoy. In spite of it all, she was always smiling and ever ready to listen. Bravery at its best- that’s what I think. I was obsessed about my academic performance and she was always there …ever ready to get me on track when ever I tripped….ever ready to pat me on my back with every step I took. Her reassuring words induced immense confidence in me, and she was very generous with them. There was no restrain when it came to encouraging me. She was happy when I excelled, even when she didn’t. Not many can do that to some one who is a competitor….friend or otherwise.

I was out of college and we moved apart again. We had both opted to study further and were now in 2 different colleges. It made no difference though, many thanx to BSNL. We yapped endlessly. Dads, at both the ends, yelling about the telephone bills burning huge holes in their pockets, were put on IGNORE mode permanently. We were always up-to-date with what was happening in the other’s life. Both of us even had a fairly good idea about each of the other’s classmates. The course that I was perusing was a trifle bit tougher and that made her encouraging words much more important to me.

It was towards the fag end of this phase at college that she fell ill. She had some weird symptoms and was diagnosed with a fatal illness, the illness that had attributed to one of her sorrows in the past as well. I hate to cry ‘n I never do, but those few weeks, I cried whenever I was alone and thought about her. It somehow made me feel better for a while.

I had to move to b’lore and this made it impossible to visit her. She was soon too ill to be able to talk over the phone. We more or less lost touch, but I never failed to think about her or pray for her. I wasn’t asking for much. I only wanted justice. Those were the days when I really hated destiny from the bottom of my heart. She did not deserve to suffer or die. NO. SHE DID NOT, but she eventually did….. I was muted.

She had doubtlessly made life sweeter for the people around her in every way she could.Short and sweet…..her life had been! I still think a grave injustice has happened and for once, destiny has made a gross miscalculation. I can never forget the days we spent together, the talks we’ve had, her smile, her words, our little secrets, triumphs, trials…. All these will remain as misty images in my mind. One clear thought- the thought of a friend, found and lost will stay on....

As I said, some thoughts are like ghosts…they haunt you forever!

PS: This blog is dedicated to my late friend S. It’s been a year without her. With every passing day, I value her friendship more ‘n more ‘n more….

Sweet siesta

2005-02-16T22:20:00.000-08:00

A FLOCK of sheep that leisurely pass by,
One after one; the sound of rain, and bees
Murmuring; the fall of rivers, winds and seas,
Smooth fields, white sheets of water, and pure sky;

I have thought of all by turns, and yet do lie
Sleepless! and soon the small birds' melodies
Must hear, first uttered from my orchard trees;
And the first cuckoo's melancholy cry.
Even thus last night, and two nights more, I lay,
And could not win thee, Sleep! by any stealth:

So do not let me wear to-night away:
Without Thee what is all the morning's wealth?
Come, blessed barrier between day and day,
Dear mother of fresh thoughts and joyous health!

~William Wordsworth, "To Sleep"

The complexity of the human mind increases with time and very soon the fragrance (sleep) that relieves the soul off its stenches of pain is lost. I crave to be able to tame this wild black horse (my mind) and be engulfed in siesta, in its sweetness ‘n silence…forever!

~Xena’s blabber on sweet siesta ;)

Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleave of care
The death of each day's life,
sore labour's bathBalm of hurt minds,
great nature's second course,
Chief nourisher in life's feast.

~William Shakespeare, Macbeth

Dame’s- Dreary- Day Dream

2005-02-15T20:37:00.000-08:00

Having such a remote/He-mote definitely is every damsel’s dream! lol

It definitely would make life a lot easier, I agree, but it would also make life very predictable and dreary. What say u?

Partners in crime

2005-02-14T23:50:00.000-08:00

The Crime:
With all this hype about Valentine’s day (which is nothing more than a marketing gig and nothing less than a 'teen love sick syndrom') , what does it take to bring and hold 2 people together for life?

The Investigation:
Me thinks, bringing two people together is the handiwork of destiny but holding themselves together sure is the handiwork of the twosome concerned.

Happened to come across this recipe. Do try it out when the time comes ;)

1 cup consideration
1 cup courtesy
2 cupfuls flattery carefully concealed
1 gallon faith and trust in each other
2 cupfuls praise
1 small pinch of in-laws
1 reasonable budget, a generous dash of cooperation
3 teaspoon pure extract of "I'm sorry"
1 cup contentment
1 cup each confidence and encouragement
1 large or several small hobbies
1 cup blindness to the other's faults

Stir well and remove any specks of jealousy, temper or criticism. Sweeten well with generous portions of love and keep warm with a steady flame of devotion. Flavor with frequent portions of recreation and a dash of happy memories. Never serve with cold shoulder.

The Inference:
I believe that the success of a marriage depends heavily on how devoted/loyal the couple is to each other, and how much they trust each other. The rest is all about how to make life interesting….add a sparkle..some spice ‘n sugar!

Nothing comes without a cost. There could be a lot of hard work involved, but the result is a delightful life with some one who would always be with you, no matter what! Some one who’s support and love would remain a constant in this complex mathematical equation of life where everything around is a variable…all but 1!

PS: This blog is dedicated to sp! :) . If u wondering who sp is, take a look at the 2 li’ll apes, happily perched on a branch. sp is the li’ll monkey on the left and ...did I mention?….the li’ll monkey on the right, looking straight into your eyes, is none other than me! :D

Fallacy - slaughtered

2005-02-13T19:51:00.000-08:00

Twilight had set in and stars had started waking up. Golden lights shone from the windows of the tiny huts in this little hamlet in Jaipur [Chowki dani]. There was a cool breeze blowing. I drew my jacket closer and thrust my hands into my pockets to keep them warm. In my right pocket, I could feel the shape of the metal fox, a talisman that I had bought a while back. I just held on to it ‘cos there was nothing else to hold on to and the cold breeze made me want to hold on to something…anything! I looked around. There were people everywhere.

At one corner people had mobbed together and were looking over each other’s heads, peering at what ever was happening there. I started walking towards the mob. Rustic music filled the air and I could see 2 poles with a dirty white cloth tied stiffly to the poles to form a screen. Standing on my toes helped me catch a glimpse of the puppeteer who was calling out to people and 2 of the puppets as well. They looked beautiful.

Very soon people had settled down on the golden sands of the pink city and the puppet show was on at full swing. The puppets that were merely objects of art were transformed into ‘reality’. The puppeteer had given them identities, voices, ideas, visions, emotions, life…….

Once the puppet show was over, the puppets lost their everything. They’ll have to wait for the next puppet show when the puppeteer would give them identities and bring them back to life once again. For that span of time when they are alive, they can voice the thoughts that the puppeteer has for them in the voices that he gives them. They can live their lives, do all that the puppeteer makes them do and lose their lives finally…..only to regain them again. This cycle would go on….for how long..nobody knows!

I looked up at the sky. The beautiful stars shone down at the world…countless number of them. There could be lots more of them that are not visible to my eyes..lots more of planets..gallexies..solar systems…..perhaps life and other life forms…

Don’t know whether it’s the serenity of the whole place- the star studded sky, the golden lights, the bright colors, laughter in the air,…dunno what gave me the thought, but I suddenly felt like a puppet- a puppet who thinks she is in full control of her life, looking at life with confidence, trusting that she would realize her dreams and most foolishly holding on to a piece of metal, believing that it will somehow take her closer to her dreams. I let go off my grip on the talisman. It had by then created an impression on my palm.

Reality shone from somewhere amidst those stars.

Hurrayyyyyyyyyy!

2005-02-11T04:42:00.000-08:00

This week has bushed me regally! I bet nobody is as happy as I am about tomorrow being a Saturday!!!

Saturday ROCKSSS!!! :D

Have a gala weekend!!! Cyaa on Monday with loads of chewy stuff to chew on :)

Signing off!!! *wink ‘n vanish*

Lead me to my tomorrow

2005-02-10T03:18:00.000-08:00

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep

-Robert Frost
An extract from the poem ‘Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening’

These lines pretty much reflect my mood today.

Alone in the lovely, dark woods…...

I’ll have to leave these woods behind. They are lovely, but dark and scary. I appeal to the unseen hands to hold me tight and lead me out of this darkness ‘cos I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep!

Tied to troubles…tring tring!

2005-02-07T21:11:00.000-08:00

“Is this Mr.-------“

*you affirm it*

“Goo’ Morning Sir. Am calling from ------. We offer credit card facility with no membership fee for a life time. Would you be interested? There’s more to it..................”

*you say that you aren’t interested*

“Guess you are busy. May I call you later Sir? When can I call you?”

*your patience is running out. You’ve got to rush for a meeting. You tell him so and hang up abruptly*

Sounds very familiar. Doesn’t it?

Have enthusiastic telemarketing guys from different banks like HSBC, Standard Charted, HDFC and the like, irked you endlessly by calling up on your mobile time and again, asking you to avail of the various services provided by their bank?

To your utter amazement; have they always known you by name?

Have they called up at the most reprehensible points in time…when you are in the middle of a meeting with your team or when you having a late lunch at 3pm?

If the answer to these questions is S..then you have ample company.

The good news is, this may not go on for long. After hearing a public interest litigation filed by one Mr.Harsh Pathak, wanting a law prohibiting cellular service providers sharing their users’ personal info' with other companies and prohibiting such telemarketing, the Supreme Court has questioned the need for such pesky calls on cell phones and has issued a notice to various cellular operators and Multinational banks.

Hey….there’s a bleep on my mobile and the message reads “ SMS 6754 to 7--- ……“. Well, I don’t have to read the rest of it. You, me and every other mobile phone user will bet that this message is all about ring tones. Think Harsh Pathak has missed out mentioning SMSs offering ring tones. Will some one let the SC know that these are irksome too!?

I only hope all this telemarketing which is uncalled for will stop soon. We are too used to cell phones to let go off the convenience they provide. We are tied to these devices. If the SC fails to put a stop to this menace, we would remain tied to the troubles they bring with them too.

Hi-Fi Spy...

2005-02-03T23:44:00.000-08:00

Don’t be too surprised if you happen to be sleepily browsing the net one Saturday afternoon and you just bump into a picture of yourself, half clad or worse still completely nude in some site. This could happen if one or more of the following is true.

1) It is your very strong belief that people earn to shop and you are in the habit of bringing about a substantial decrease in your bank balance (or your Spouse’s or Dad’s- based on who your generous benefactor is) owing to this noble cause (shopping, of course). You are more or less sure about the infrastructure (where the mirror is, the switches are, which side of the mirror is actually the door-when you have to get out…etc) of the changing rooms of most of the shops in town.

2) You disagree completely with people who believe that we are civilized enough to settle down at one place. You say that humans aren’t humans if they let go off one basic trait- nomadism. You’ve stayed at innumerable hotels and seen loads of places. This way, you believe that you’ve imparted in yourself a certain level of worldly wisdom which will take you places (more places….)

3) Partying/sun bathing/doing just about anything on the beaches is what you do a lot. ‘Best beach bums’ is what you wanna be.

4) You’ve either been very bad to some body OR you just too good as you are, at whatever you are/do and many people are J big-time. Ultimately, you are surrounded by clever and crooked enemies.

5) You are Ms. Photogenic or Mr. Photogenic and you’ve posted your photographs on the net so many times that you’ve lost count.

6) You don’t like posting your photograph on the net ‘cos you think you look better in person. You’ve just posted it ones or twice and have forgotten all about it.

7) Luck has decided to pose an ugly frown at you – plain and simple!

Moving on to the crux of the matter, I want you to take a look at this article by Abhay Vaidya

Here are some extracts that provide the nitty-gritty of the article.

With spycams being discovered in a hostel room occupied by three Pune college girls and previously in a women’s changing room in a public swimming pool in Pune, the threat from cyberpowered or cyber-enabled voyeurs has become a huge reality for Indians.

and…

Raman who among other credentials worked for the United Nations for securing information flow between UN HQ and Mission Control HQ in Africa, told TOI that there are a number of steps that the citizens can take to protect themselves from such invaders.
Raman’s pointers were as follows:

• Understand that when you enter any room, such devices are normally placed at shoulder height
• They normally require a power source and are therefore ‘‘co-located with a power source such as near an air conditioner socket, table lamp, etc.
• Typically, in eight out of 10 cases, spycameras are located inside clocks.
• The location of spy cameras is in the direction opposite to where you are likely to be most vulnerable: such as opposite to the bed or the bathroom door.
• A most simple, practical and commonsensical step is to switch off the lights and ensures darkness in private moments. ‘‘These devices need a light source to capture images,’’ Raman said.

Do ensure that the mirrors you see around you are actually mirrors and not glass shields that hide sypcams on the other side. Beware of the Hi-Fi spys with their filthy, Lo-Fi motives!

Twitter into dwellings

2005-01-31T21:15:00.000-08:00

Ever feel like getting yourself out of this niche as an urban machine and fleeing to some sober, down to earth village?

Oh yeah…you do!?...but do you have the time to get away and stay away??

Nay..you don’t??..then Dakshin Chitra is just the place for you if you live in Chennai. It simply takes you on a journey through time and space to rustic hamlets of the yester years.

Talking about hamlets, every one of them, however small and simple has a certain serenity about it - the serenity that lasts as long as we humans don’t tamper, more than to the extent required to make it habitable, with the handiwork of Nature.

The earthen ware, paintings, sun rays falling on floors glossed with red oxide, copper and brass utensils, smoky kitchens, creamy milk, dew drops, mist, chirping sparrows, rivers with sparkling water, fields ready for harvest, people who would rather talk about the saplings in the back yard than about rocket science…everything adds to the tender sweetness of villages.

The houses, standing tall and beautiful, exhibiting proudly their valor to be unique in every single small way, add a magical dazzle to every village.

The beauty of the various kinds of houses, of people in different states and belonging to different sects, has been captured flawlessly at Dakshin Chitra. This apart, there are innumerable forms of art, both on display and for sale.

A visit to Dakshin Chitra on Saturday brought back memories of my Maternal Grand Parent’s palatial house in one of the most beautiful hamlets of all times. I absolutely adore that village and the house.

To cut a long story short, I’m in love with those houses I saw. The quaint, cherubic houses with the utensils, furniture and wall hangings are a treat to the eyes. They are complete in every sense and are ready for occupation. If only they would let me occupy the Tanjor house…*sigh* :p.

Hey….I almost missed out mentioning; I bought myself a ring studded with 2 dazzling white stones and 2 white pearls. I can see it shimmer as I type and with the twinkle, it brings in memories of that wonderful day at Dakshin Chitra :)

Back with a Bang!

2005-01-30T20:46:00.000-08:00

Hi there…am back! Couldn’t get my brain to spawn any stuff to blog on last week, partly ‘cos I was occupied with work, but principally ‘cos I was exploring for possibilities of writing some stuff that would never have anything to do with ME.

I’m sorry. I don’t think that’s doable. I can never really separate my blogs completely from myself. I could definitely write about things that would interest a wide cross section of people, but there will be traces of my thoughts, my opinions, my experiences…. ME in everything.

As a result of this analysis, I’ve come up with an algorithm to work out a solution that I believe would be acceptable to everybody.

The pseudo code is as follows……

If ( finding traces of the pollutant (ie) ME in my blogs is a problem)
{

If(you are not my friend)
STOP visiting my blogs;
/*NO OFFENCE. Many of us in India are just getting to taste blogging for the 1st time ever and its understandable to have conflicts on what should be written and what not…but, I’m definite about what I would write on*/

Else
{
/* it is assumed that you would only be too happy to know more about how I get on
with life…but there could be exceptions :( */

If (you are forlorn about it in spite of the friendship we share)
{

I can’t help it. You’ll have to accept me with my shortfalls and we must get
along (ie) I’ll keep writing blogs and you’ll keep reading them. You are free to
criticize but not to stop reading what I write ;) }

Else
{ // am glad that you've changed you mind after you entered the code :D

No worries, lets move ahead together :)
}
}

}

Else

{

Am Honored! :)...Thank you!

}

Btw…if you still with me, then I really do want you as a friend (if you aren’t 1 already)..so go back to the pseudo code and check out what applies to U ! ;)

Heady Totter

2005-01-24T01:30:00.000-08:00

I was thoroughly excited about this because I had never done this before. I couldn’t stop smiling and I was all set for the excitement to begin.

The minute it started, I was convinced that this is by far the worst mistake that I’ve ever made. The momentum increased slowly. It kept increasing and seemed to go on forever. My head started reeling and my stomach was churning badly.

Before long, there was a sharp pain on the left side of my neck because, my whole self had remained tilted at varying angles, all of them uncomfortably away from normal, for quite a while. It felt like I was in a flying saucer out in the sky and the saucer was out of control, wobbling from side to side.

The fluffy pink cotton candy, the sweet popcorn, H2O and everything seemed to be getting mixed up inside me. At one point I even thought I would get thrown out of this frantically wobbling horrendous object (am definitely too young to die…) I found myself wishing that this would stop and I would be on level grounds once again.

It finally slowed down and came to a halt. I was out of it, my head still reeling and my legs weak from all the rotation about multiple axes at varying points in the past 10 minutes or so. My throat was sour and that’s when I realized that I had been screeching all the while

It was terrific…my first ride on the tornado at a fair that I had been to yesterday. I just loved it and am waiting to be on it again. Hey..I’ve still not told you what happened after I got off that scary wobbler. I slowly started feeling better and in a few minutes I was atop the Giant wheel, all my shadowy fears dispersing into nothing. :)

From Cobwebs to Cables ...in a jiffy!

2005-01-20T01:20:00.000-08:00

As a kid, I wasn’t naughty but I’ve got chided abundantly for the habits that I used to pick up from time to time. It used to be more or less seasonal (if I can call it so) . I invariably used to end up with some droll set of habits/ideas after every vacation. The summer hols were the most munificent in terms of the number of new habits that it rendered.

After a week long stay at my Aunt’s place, I got back home and announced to my Mom the next morning that there was a minor change in the way I operate and that I would like to have my glass of milk before I brush my teeth from that day on. I got lectured for an hour on the implications of this habit and when this did not work, my Mom declared that there was a minor change in the way the household operated and that I won’t get anything to drink or eat, till I brush my teeth. So, that’s it. I loitered around for a while, but finally it worked like magic!

At another point in time, when I was a pre-schooler, I had some friends in the neighborhood who had nick names. I came home one evening after playing all day with them and told everybody at home that I would like to be called ‘Pinky’ henceforth and that I wouldn’t respond if people didn’t address me by that name. For the next 1 week or so, I used to turn around spontaneously if somebody called me by my name and then turn back once I remember that they should have called me ‘Pinky’ instead.

All my silly childhood ways apart, everybody gets in and out of various kinds of habits all through life. These habits could range from something as innocent and common-place as singing in the bathroom or reading a newspaper every morning, to something that bothers/agitates others such as talking very loudly over the phone or back biting.

Although people have always told us that it’s important to develop good habits ‘cos once developed, they die hard, we still tend to get into habits that we ourselves would desire to (and struggle to) get rid off later on. Habits turn from cobwebs to cables really fast!

All the same, habits are a two edged sword. If you could prioritize effectiveness ahead of convenience, you would soon be comfortable with the most effectual habits. Check out Stephen.R.Covey's best seller ‘7 habits of Highly effective people’ (the link only gives you a summary of what the book contains)

All tall talks…btw, have you noticed that every para of this post starts with an ‘A’? (NO!!..I didn’t do it intentionally *giggle* ). Hope I’m not habituated to this now! ;)

The chains of habits are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.

Sugar and Spice, and everything Nice

2005-01-17T19:45:00.000-08:00

If you think this is about all the goodies that I hogged over the weekend, you are right…but not entirely! The past 4 days have spiced up my life, if you believe that variety really is the spice of life (ie). Some of them (the days, I mean) have been as delicious as the cream that’s atop a strawberry tartlet and some others have produced in me, the effect of consuming an abominable amount of chili sauce.

Last Thursday was a garlic bread day. It wasn’t sweet surely, but it wasn’t spicy either. It was very tasty. Pongal was round the corner. To add on to this, we were relocating to a new building. Everybody in the office was busy packing their stuff (ranging from documents, books and floppies to clocks, marble figurines and peacock feathers) in cardboard cartons, sealing the cartons with a great deal of care and writing their names on the cartons. People were making fun of each others keepsakes and there was a lot of excitement about the seating arrangements at the new location. It sure was fun to sit back and watch. I, for one, did not have anything to pack.

I did some shopping at Mylapore on Thursday evening. The place was buzzing with activities. There were people everywhere, busy bargaining for or buying sugar canes and bunches of turmeric. Got back home thoroughly tuned and equipped with all the raw materials (sugar, cashews, raisins, ghee, sugarcanes, turmeric, veggies, etc) for Pongal.

Of the four days that I’m focusing on (Friday to Monday) the first two were strawberry tart days filled with fun and frolic. Kalkand bath, rangolies with bright hues, temple bells, crisp new cotton kurtas, chirpy neighborhood, a whole lot of guests, the fragrance of ghee in the air…hmm, life can’t get better than that!

Sunday wasn’t as sweet as the 2 days that preceded it, but it was delicious in its own way. Had a very good time. I bought some beautiful glass bangles for the first time and will repeat this act again frequently, ‘cos, doubtlessly I like the bangles immensely! ;) They are a peculiar shade of brown. A 3-in-1 shade-The color of honey and chocolate with a ting of reddishness.

Monday is the day that actually made me feel like I’ve drained all the chili sauce in a can down my mouth. It made me realize that not only curiosity, over-enthusiasm too kills the cat - especially if it has a bit of ugly luck to go with it. This being the first day of work at the new office, I was suppose to be picked up from a spot that’s about 4 kms from where I live, at 7.45am. With a great deal of zest I woke up at 5.30am and was ready by 7.15am. I was at the pick up point at 7.30 on the dot. The pick up point (like hell) was beside the main road that takes you to the airport. My day started with inhaling the abundantly available carbon monoxide and a whole lot of dust while waiting for the bus. By the time the bus (finally) came to that spot at 8.30, I was coughing badly, my eyes were watering and I was completely pissed off. It was sunny and I was sweating as well. Although every nerve in my brain instructed me to scream at the transport coordinator who was seated comfortably on the first seat, I had enough sense in me to give him a smile and take one of the seats at the front end of the bus (so that I wouldn’t add a sprained back to the list of problems that the day had already ‘blessed’ me with). After all, it isn’t anybody’s fault. I casually mentioned to him that this pick up point is quite far off from where I stay and that the bus has been a bit too (unforgivably…grrr!) late on the very first day. Nothing extraordinarily bad happened the rest of the day, but I wasn’t happy with anything the whole day. The after taste of the happenings of the morning was there all through the day!

I always do my best not to hit the roof when I expect things to go one way and they head in the direction that’s right the opposite. It’s evident that I haven’t been very successful. In this case, I’m glad that I at least did not blown out steam and make somebody else’s day as distasteful as mine.

It’s definitely important to be able to accept (if not relish) the spicy side (awfully spicy. Not the kind that just adds taste) of life as comfortably as one accepts the sweeter side. I hope to be able to do it, but only with the best teacher by my side-Time!:)

How a Shutterbug took me on a Joy ride to Lillyput…

2005-01-11T22:03:00.000-08:00

Although I do annoy people at times, I seldom annoy them by forwarding junk e-mails. I’m not habituated to passing on forwards. I avoid doing that as a matter of principle (Ok, I confess, the truth is I don’t have the patience for it).

If you had asked them a few weeks back, my Friends and Colleagues would have vouched for what I told you just now about my tendency with regards to forwarding mails (not forwarding mails, rather). Not any more! :(

Not so long ago (read ‘a few weeks back’ ), I was completely blindfolded by an e-mail I received and sent it across to many people in haste, claiming that this is one of the most interesting pieces of info I’ve ever come across.

THE e-mail …for your perusal....

Recent exploration activity in the northern region of India uncovered a skeletal remains of a human of phenomenal size. This region of the Indian desert is called the Empty Quarter. The discovery was made by National Geographic Team (India Division) with support from the Indian Army since the area comes under the jurisdiction of the Army.

The exploration team also found tablets with inscriptions that stated that our Gods of Indian mythological yore, "Brahma" had created people of phenomenal size the like of which He has not created since. They were very tall, big, and very powerful, such that they could put their arms around a tree trunk and uproot it. They were created to bring order among us since we were always fighting with each other. One of the sons of Bhima of the Pandava brothers is also thought of to have been carrying these genes. Later these people, who were given all the power, turned against all our Gods, and transgressed beyond all boundaries set. As a result they were destroyed by God Shiva.The Geo Exploration team believes these to be the remains of those people. Govt. of India has secured the whole area and no one is allowed to enter except the Nat Geo personnel. A very small article on this was published in TOI Mumbai edition on 22-Apr-2004. See the attachment and note the size of the two men standing in the picture in comparison to the size of the skeleton!!

There was a snap attached to this mail. Whatever was captured in that snap was absolutely incredible. There were 2 men digging out a massive skeleton. The men looked like those little humans from Lilliput, considering the size of the Skeleton (the Massive Gulliver)

‘Smart’ me…I was thrilled. I had never seen anything like this before. I just couldn’t contain myself and immediately forwarded it to all my Friends and Colleagues. In less than an hour, one of the smart guys to whom I had sent the mail had done a bit of digging on this and had come out with the truth.

This is a snap that had been taken for a Photoshop contest (the title being ‘Archeological Anomalies’). It’s a proof of the photographic skills of some freak. Its so picturesque that its deceiving. All I could do was give people a sheepish smile! :D

Since you’ve come this far, do take a look at this sensational SNAP that completely fooled me out of my wits!

There’s one more STORY of this sort floating round, with this snap as the pivot.

By the way, if I’ve missed out mentioning it before…good job shutterbug!! :)

My Favorite Model

2005-01-10T23:01:00.000-08:00

Sleek, sophisticated and versatile…I really do long to make him mine *sigh* !!

Click here to fall in love

My life sure would be grander with him!! If only pay cheques were fatter and taxes were lower....

Eternal Companions

2005-01-09T22:06:00.000-08:00

Each of these companions is elegantly dressed and has something unique and interesting to offer (I would call them ‘Xs’ from now on). There are some people who constantly seek their company and are badly addicted to them (I would call these people ‘Ys’ from now on). Most often the people who are destined to dwell in the same house as these addicts (the Ys) have problems getting them away from Xs (taking the Xs away from Ys, rather).

All Ys are not the same when it comes to their passion for Xs. Different Ys prefer different times during the day when they seek the company of Xs. Depending on the magnitude of the addiction, Ys take the Xs with them to the drawing room, the dining room, the bed room and also to the loo. They don’t take Xs with them to the shower though!(to the best of my knowledge…but, the world is a weird place. Probably some Ys do that as well)

Most of the Ys are very touchy about anybody else taking their Xs even if it is for a short span of time. If any of your friends is a Y, then you would better be careful about asking for the company of his/her X because you might end up killing the friendship if something goes wrong (such as you spending too much time with the X or worse still, you physically injuring X) Ys are damn possessive about their Xs-BE WARNED!

Every mind is a blend of ideas, visions, beliefs, ambitions and fears all of which are distilled out of experiences, facts and data that are fed in. These companions I’m talking about are undoubtedly the most interesting source of inputs to our minds. Their attires are of varying hues and textures, and so are the inputs that they would feed into our minds. Nowadays, Xs are very colorfully dressed. You can choose your Xs and they’ll remain your friends forever!

OK .I think I’ve taken this too far. If you’ve not yet guessed who these companions are (I’m sure you have…but if by some stash of bad luck….)…BOOKS thats what its all about (what else could it be?)

I had been to the 28th Annual Book Fair, at the Quaid-e-Millet Government Arts College for Women, on Saturday. This has been organized by the Book sellers’ and Publishers’ association of South India and has been happening for the past 27 years in succession.

There’s a very wide spectrum of books. It takes about 2 to 3 hours to just browse through the collection in all the stalls and believe me, its tiring! With some popcorns and papads, you can make it to the exit with some energy still left in you to check out the ‘seconds sale’ that’s happening in parallel, on either sides of the gate (outside, of course!).

Entirely satisfying, although I didn’t spot some of THE books that I was looking for. This Book fair is on till the 17th of this month. So, what are you waiting for??

A Pleasant Surprise!!

2005-01-08T02:01:00.000-08:00

A pleasant surprise awaited me yesterday when I took the car out of my office. My office is right on Mount Road near the Nandanam Signal. It usually takes 2 to 5 minutes to get into Mount Road from my office in the evening peak hours and another 5 minutes to cross the signal. Since I need to take a U-turn at the Nandanam Signal, I always struggle and wait for the traffic to die down, which incidentally never happens, to cut across the road to reach the other end.

But yesterday it was all done in just 2 minutes. While coming out of the office, I was at the office gate probably for 15 seconds. Surprisingly a bus which was going straight stopped in front of the gate and the driver waved me to take the turn and also protected me from the traffic behind.

I waved him back with lots of appreciation and took the turn. Luckily for me the signal was also on and everything done in just 2 minutes (Enough to cook Maggie, though I entirely disagree with that claim!!).

I always despise bus drivers for the way they drive on our roads. They show little patience and little respect to fellow motorists. They always think that they are the kings on the road and no one can shake them off.

But this incident was a very pleasant one to me. Though it didn’t alter my belief about bus drivers, it was certainly an eye opener. There are after all few bus drivers who are considerate for fellow drivers on the road.

Fact or Folklore

2005-01-06T06:02:00.000-08:00

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m not aware of any animals getting killed in this tsunami catastrophe. There were no dead animals found on any of the shores. The Sri Lankan Wild life authorities have reported that the killer waves have astonishingly missed out killing any animals. Can’t help wondering how they escaped?

I’ve read and heard of many instances when animals have exhibited a strange ability to sense the approaching danger and keep themselves away from it. Virtually every culture has reported such observations.

Such issues, which have a tint of mystery, coupled with some scientific explanation to de-mystify it altogether (something like Scooby-do’s adventures) definitely capture and hold my interest. Perhaps, there really were witches and they really did communicate with their cats. Perhaps, there’s some truth in the belief that misfortune is round the corner if dogs howl.

Digging deeper, I found some interesting tit-bits on this!

Heres my find for you to take a look at….

National geographic
Levity
Animal Sentience

I haven’t found any proven explanation for such behaviors in animals although there are so many theories hanging from mid air.Be it a myth or reality...its interesting either ways, is'nt it?

Too FAT (Fearful, Awful and Terrifying) to die!

2005-01-04T05:50:00.000-08:00

Last Friday was just like any other Friday ‘cos I had made up my mind that I wouldn’t go out and celebrate this New Year eve. There was no reason to celebrate. Many a times in the past, I’ve ‘sacrificed’ celebrations on account of such painful happenings, but there always used to be a certain bit of resentment in a corner of my heart for making the ‘sacrifice’. For the first time, I felt no such resentment. I had no urge to celebrate.

A visit to my Uncle’s place at Gopalapuram was long over due and I finally made it on Saturday. On my way to his house, I was mentally juggling with facts about the geography of that calm and beautiful place. I, like any other Chennai vaasi who has been unfortunate enough to hear about and see the tragedies that tsunami left behind, have become paranoid about it altogether. Now, considering the location of my Uncle’s place, its less than 2 kms from the beach (This is by road, but road maps and traffic signals are not for tsunami…so probably its much lesser than that) I’ve somehow fallen into this futile habit of keeping track of the distance of any place I go to from the sea (since the 27th of Dec 2004). My thoughts drifted to a movie that I had watched a few weeks back-’Resident Evil’-part II. ‘Alice’, the key character in the movie has become one of my favorites (not as much a favorite as Xena is thought :D ) I thought I would be able to save people from such calamities if I had the agility and swiftness of Alice. I finally reached my Uncle’s at about 2pm, had a scrumptious lunch that my Aunt had prepared for me and took a nap till 5pm.Helped my Uncle out with the preparation of some docs from 6 to 10 and finally went to bed at 10.30pm.

The next morning, I was jolted out of sleep when my cot suddenly started shaking. The movement was very rhythmic. Had I been a baby with no knowledge about earthquakes and stuff, I would have slept on peacefully because it was more or less like lying inside a cradle that was being rocked gently.

To give you an overview before I let you know what exactly caused the ‘tremor’, my Uncles house, (just like my mind and this site) is a messy place- with due respect to my Aunt’s house keeping skills (not her fault really. My cousin is more to be blamed). There are too many things everywhere. The cot that I was sleeping on is placed close to the wall and immediately to the left is the washing machine. Thankfully, the movement that I felt was due to the washing m/c being operated and not due to an (other) earthquake.

The rest of the day was uneventful. I found some interesting books amongst my Grandpa’s vast collection, did a teeny-weeny bit of shopping with my cousin in the evening, bid adieu and got back home by 7.30 ...8ish.

Yesterday exhibited the true colors of a Monday. It never gave me a moment to sit back and think of something to write. Thankfully today has been nicer, but will I ever get over tsunami nightmares!?

Easy to make and …..break!

2004-12-31T04:07:00.000-08:00

At the wake of yet another New Year, I’ve decided to make some resolutions! I, like most people, have this habit of making resolutions at the onset of every year and like most people, I invariably break them by the end of the year. I should admit that not a single one of my resolutions has stood the test of time till now! :

If I remember right, I fell into this habit of making New Year resolutions when I was in class IV.The cousin who inculcated this ‘priceless’ habit in me, had come down to spend the Christmas hols with us, that year. He is elder to me by 2 years and has been the all time favorite (among all my cousins) with my parents. He used to be a lively lad, and never stopped asking questions to my Dad. He had questions to ask about everything that he set eyes on. I, of course, had no choice but to tag along and listen to what my Father had to say- although I had not the faintest intention of knowing how our car worked (as long as it worked and we could go out on Sundays) or how dogs see at night (in any case I was scared of dogs and would never dare to go near one at night. So it would never see me anyways!…or so I thought).

He was due to leave in a day or two and I was definitely pleased with the idea because I would again have my Parent’s attention all to myself. That morning, I saw him sitting at the edge of the couch, with a tiny book and a pen, scribbling something busily. He had a very serious look on his face .His spectacles had slid down his nose and was barely clinging on. He didn’t seem to mind that very much and was immersed in his work. He wore a neat white T-shirt and a pair of shorts (As a matter of fact, my cloths were seldom white, because none of them managed to retain the original color in spite of my Mother's devoted effort to help them stay clean and white )He reminded me of Dilton (the geek among the Archies) I went closer and peered into his little note book, and I’m sure you’ve guessed by now that he was jotting down his resolutions for the coming year. That’s when I decided to start making resolutions myself. In spite of all the jealousy that’s natural among children of that age, I guess I admired him for the way he religiously kept track of details and went about figuring out things.

I wonder what my cousin would make of this blog if he happens to read it :D….!By the way, coming to the crux of the issue, my set of resolutions for this year has a difference. I’m sure u didn’t expect me to let out any of my resolutions, but, I’ve decided to take you into the private realm of my mind and show you the resolution that’s right on top of the list.

NO MORE NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS IF I CANNOT STICK TO THE FOLLOWING RESOLUTIONS THIS YEAR!

I only hope I’ll stick to this one…..

Can you unscramble a scrambled egg?

2004-12-29T23:43:00.000-08:00

‘Tsunami’ is a word that I’ve never heard of until last Sunday. Had some one asked me what I think this word means, assuming that whatever happened last Sunday never really happened, I would definitely have attributed it to the name of a ‘school gal’ toon in some series that is shown on Animax. I’m no quiz wiz, but I’m sure most people in India (for that matter, even in most parts of the world) have never heard of this word ever. Today, the tiniest among the tiny tots in the neighborhood knows what it means and can give you his/her own version of its meaning!

Talking about tiny tots and Animax…. I can never really forget my childhood days. There have been wonderful times, there have been sunny days when there were so many friends around to play with, there have been fights with friends, heart breaks and disappointments and there have been lonely, gloomy days as well. Whatever the case was, one thing that never changed was (and thankfully still is) the reassuring presence of my Parents. They’ve witnessed every single happening in my life, the trials and the tribulations of adolescence, the glories and the defeats of early adult hood (till date). They’ve always stood by and done their best to put me and keep me going on the right track.

Yesterday was just another day until I got back home and found a New Year card waiting for me. It was from my Parents. It definitely lit up my face with a smile. I read what it had to say (…a very simple and plain card it was), dropped it on the table and sat down in front of the television with a plate of rasam rice in my hand. The television gave sufficient food for thought but, at the end of it all, I completely lost my appetite. There was a lot of news on the state of affairs. It was evident that relief operations were happening in full swing.

What really touched my heart was the look on the eyes of the children who have lost their Parents (one or both of them) to the killer waves. There were so many tidbits of news. There was one on how a baby girl, born blind, has lost her mother to this catastrophe. It was good to learn that several people have offered to get her vision back for her by funding for the surgery. There was the case of a two young boys who have both lost their parents and were together at the relief camp. There was a case of a grandmother and her grand children being alive and together. In this case, the Parents were both missing.

When I was a little girl, my Mom used to take my kid Bro’ and me to a garden near the post office every evening. It used to be a sweet little place. It had some plants with yellow flowers (dunno what flowers they were, but they were yellow and never had any fragrance), butterflies and dragonflies flying about and a tank with a lot of fungus at the bottom. The tank always amused my Bro and me the most because it had ‘green water’. My Mom used to sit on a wooden bench, most often the one at the right most corner, reading a book, while the two of us used to play about. I would want to carry all my dolls with me to that garden ‘cos I would think they may be lonely without me and every evening my Mom used to patiently talk me out of the idea. I remember the times when I used to trouble my Mother endlessly asking for dresses to be stitched for my dolls. Thanks to my Dad my collection of dolls used to keep growing every month or so (to my Mother’s dismay). This is just a tiny fragment from the tastefully woven, large fabric of my childhood memories and it is safely and strongly written into my very soul.

There have been very testing times when I had almost completely lost all the confidence I had in myself. My parents were there to induce it back in me. There have also been numerous occasions when I had been a trifle too over confident. Then again, they were there to point out that this might lead to my downfall. They have always given me a strong sense of security. I’ve always had this feeling that I have something to fall back on and this gives me the confidence to step up, explore and grow! Every human being deserves to experience this.

Children who have a healthy and happy childhood definitely grow into more confident, friendly and most often law abiding adults.

Nature can be as unpredictable as it is beautiful. This time, it has chosen to cruelly rip some young souls off the childhood that they rightfully deserve.

Its heartening to see the number of people who are more than willing to extend a helping hand to the Tsunami victims. It’s a strong sign that humanity hasn’t lost all its goodness and gone stale altogether, although its flavor has altered with time. Lets do our best for these children although we can never provide the childhood that they would have had, had their parents been alive- we can never really unscramble a scrambled egg!…can we? :(

Gazing into a crystal ball!

2004-12-28T05:26:00.000-08:00

What makes the future so interesting, amusing and scary all at the same time?

Yes. You said it (if not aloud, at least you thought of it)…it’s the uncertainty factor associated with it.

There are times when I’ve wished that I could predict what’s in store. Had there been a book, which magically produced on its pages, the list of all that the future holds for us, and had there been a test to see if the human kind can hold back the desire to take a peep into it, then, there are many instances in my life when I would have failed miserably.

How do you think it would be if the future were an open book? It might not be that great after all! It could be good, if it’s alterable, but who wouldn’t want everything to go the ‘right’ way for them? This ‘right’ way may not be the right way for others and it may not be the righteous way either. Ultimately, the whole idea of ‘Justice’ in the process of rewarding the deserving will be lost!

All the same, I cannot help desiring for something of this sort when I see the mammoth destruction that the whole of South Asia has faced in the early hours of a Black Sunday owing to an earthquake and some tsunami waves, the byproduct of the quake.

Now that a disaster has struck, I definitely expect a forwarded mail on this, stating that this too was predicted by Nostradamus, from some source with some cryptic passage (the prediction) and a ‘decryption’ text (the mapping to this situation).

As per the prophecies of Nostradamus

(If you wanna know where I picked this from->Nostradamus:Prophecies ),

Continents as you know them now will cease to exist or changedramatically. (I. p52) All the central part of your continent as youknow it will be [spared]. Continents all over the earth will beaffected. The water mass as we know it now will cover a greaterpercentage of the earth. Continents that are connected will be split,divided by water that were not divided by water before. There willnot be any country that is not affected. A large portion of Asia willbe covered with water. Africa will have a channel cutting through it,a new strait. (I. p56)

I don’t have the faintest idea if Nostradamus really predicted this…but I find this very interesting! One can’t help noticing that all the predictions that were made (if they really were) come to light only in the wake of the corresponding catastrophe (corresponding to that prediction, I mean). Sounds fishy doesn’t it??

Check out these links..Pretty interesting!

Nostradamus:FAQs
Nostradamus:Biography

Predications and speculation on their validity apart, something definitely needs to be done to ensure that we are not so ill prepared to meet the next of Nature’s challenges of this kind, if and when it occurs. I intend to probe into this in the days to come…but, right now, I probably should get myself a crystal ball from the flea market and try my hand at crystal gazing!! :)

Terrorizing tremors:

2004-12-26T22:40:00.001-08:00

Daydreaming is an enjoyable ‘art’ that need not be learnt and can definitely be practiced by anybody effortlessly (provided you have the time for it!). Am quite a daydreamer myself. It’s highly entertaining to simulate some situation in your mind and to make yourself go through it. Although daydreaming has it’s own problems (if you are wondering what they are, ask some daydreamer you know!!), it cannot be denied that it’s enjoyable to indulge in!

I had been to the Marina beach last Sunday evening and was gazing at the sea, munching a roasted American sweet corn. Don’t make any mistakes…this corn is from Salem and not from the USA as its name misleadingly implies. ‘American sweet Corn’ is a branding done by some of the beach side marketing strategists.

Its always is fun to just look around at all the people and activities on the beach. The baji walas (If you haven’t tasted the bajis on the beaches of Chennai, then you’ve missed something important in life…yummy!!!) with their stalls, decorated with chili curtains, the tiny Mary-go-rounds for kids, the key chain vendors with their key chains emitting a dull blue glow in the darkness, everything adds color to the place (I now think about these with the fondness that comes naturally for pleasant things that have been lost forever. There will soon be a new set of people out there, of course!)

I started wondering what would happen if some creature like Godzilla happened to just pop its head out of the sea suddenly and start chasing the whole lot of people on the beach. I was trying to figure out the various ways in which each of these people would try and safe guard themselves (not that there are many ways…running for your life is the best bet!). It was soon time to leave and the Godzilla daydream was lost in the grinding routine of the following week.

Woke up at 8.30 yesterday morning. It was a typical lazy, sunny Sunday morning until the television was switched on. I didn’t feel any tremors. Nobody at home or in the neighborhood did. All the same, it truly was scary to watch and hear the stuff that was told on TV. Can you imagine? There are people who were completely in harmony with life until they or their loved ones got washed away into the sea on this ill-fated Sunday!

Just close your eyes and visualize the sea coming towards you, engulfing you and taking you in with all its might. There have been un-suspecting, health conscience people out jogging/walking. There have been friends meeting up and playing on the beach. There have been fishermen and women. There have been people who lived on the shores and ran some stalls in the evenings, perhaps. These people may not have been entirely happy with life (very few of us are for that matter), but each would definitely have had some plans for the rest of yesterday (at least), leave alone the plans they might have had for the rest of their lives. Worse still, Can you imagine someone dear to you just vanishing from your life one fine morning? It’s just too much of a shock to take (I think).

Many ‘Thanks’ to the Godzilla named ‘Tsunamis ‘!! The following is an interesting site that provides info’ on earthquakes with some animations. Do check it out! http://www.pbs.org/wnet/savageearth/earthquakes/

It even provides info on the Waves of destruction-Tsunamis!! Here is an extract

Depending on the geometry of the seafloor warping that first generated the waves, tsunami attacks can take different forms. In certain cases, the sea can seem at first to draw a breath and empty harbors, leaving fish flopping on the mud. This sometimes draws the curious to the shoreline and to their deaths, since the withdrawing of the sea is inevitably followed by the arrival of the crest of a tsunami wave. Tsunamis also flood in suddenly without warning. Tsunami waves usually don't curve over and break, like Hawaiian surf waves. Survivors of tsunami attacks describe them as dark "walls" of water. Impelled by the mass of water behind them, the waves bulldoze onto the shore and inundate the coast, snapping trees like twigs, toppling stone walls and lighthouses, and smashing houses and buildings into kindling.

Whatever said and done, the fact remains that earthquakes cannot be prevented!!

Although ours is not a region prone to seismic activities, this is the second time in the recent past (to the best of my knowledge) that we’ve been badly hit by the tremors.Bygones are bygones. From now on, the best thing to do would be to predict it (if we can) and be prepared. The following link takes you to a page that tells you how you can be prepared.http://earthquake.usgs.gov/faq/prepare.html

Lets just focus on how we can make things better (read ‘safer’) for everybody before there’s another one of these terrorizing tremors that could again leave us all ‘shaken’ in more ways than one!

Knock the stress out of your system before stress knocks you out! :)

2004-12-24T04:05:00.000-08:00

This is what happened to me yesterday!!:(

My state last evening :I was completely bogged down and felt like an air pillow pumped up with air to the max and ready to explode any minute. I’m using an air-pillow for an example because a balloon is far too delicate and I definitely do think I’m tougher than that (inflated ego..huh!)

The reason for this state: It definitely wasn’t my day. Everything has been going wrong since morning. I felt sick about everything…the people around, the work, and life on the whole. I started thinking about my College and my Profs’. My Profs’….they suddenly seem to me to be the nicest lot of people under the sun(not so long ago, this wasn’t the way I thought about them although they had their own special place in my mind!).

I had a bad cold and a running nose (which I’m sure you’ll agree, is an extreme test for ones’ patience especially if your mind is processing 100 (other) different threads in parallel). By the end of the day…with all the fire fighting at work, I was certain that my brain is gonna go ahead and get a brain fever or something (forgive me for this erroneous statement on the prospective cause of brain fever, but with all my troubles, this is what I thought yesterday) I had fever (the regular one) and this, I thought, was an indication of the fact that the brain was over worked. I’m sure everybody goes through some days of this sort when you don’t really have the stamina to take up even the normal load of work and stress and you are ‘gifted’ with an extra ‘special’, extra heavy load of both!

Post dinner, I found myself lying between the cozy covers of my mattress reading a book. It was about a Japanese Couple who had decided to separate and yet kept procrastinating the actual separation .I made a mental note that this book would be an excellent specimen to do blogging on. My head felt heavy (partially due to the fever but primarily due to the kind of day I’ve had) I stopped reading and started reflecting on the happenings of the day. I finally fell asleep at about 11pm.

Today has been a very nice day (till now). I’m feeling much better and have been able to handle things better. Everything seems to be brighter than it was yesterday. There’s a lot of work, there’s the same deadline pressure that tags along with any piece of work…but still everything seems to be better.

There’s one very evident and simple fact that dawned on me . Situations don’t change drastically in a day. The People around you don’t get any nicer in a day. It is your own physical and mental state that actually determines the quality of your day.

Do check this link out http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTCS_01.htm
It’s about maintaining a Stress diary. Here is an extract

The idea behind Stress Diaries is that, on a regular basis, you record information about the stresses you are experiencing, so that you can analyse these stresses and then manage them. This is important because often these stresses flit in and out of our minds without getting the attention and focus that they deserve.

It also helps capture and analyze the most common sources of stress in your life, Stress Diaries help you to understand:
The causes of stress in more detail;
The levels of stress at which you operate most efficiently; and
How you react to stress, and whether your reactions are appropriate and useful.
Stress Diaries, therefore, give you the important information that you need to manage stress.

On the whole, if you are an organized person at work and additionally record a stress diary, you would be much better off at handling stress. You could even get to be much more productive because you would know under what levels of stress you perform at your peak. Check this out for some info on stress and managing it http://www.mindtools.com/pages/main/newMN_TCS.htm.

So, I stress on the fact that it’s important to get the stress you experience, out of your system. I better stop ‘stressing’ now…’cos I can really hear you stressing on the point that its high time I stop! ;)