Brown and Beautiful

Those large, round and beautiful eyes- like the golden desert at dusk; Robby lay on his side, and kept staring at them through half open eyes. He couldn’t stop looking at them…he simply didn’t want to be pulled into unconsciousness…he hasn’t had enough of this yet...those eyes, they were too magnetic! The fight to stay awake went on as the brown mischievous eyes keep looking at him, watching him lose.



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The little brown teddy, with those big brown eyes, lay wrapped in his hug as he surrendered his little self to blissful slumber!



What did u think?? :-p

An Appeal

(Om) yam brahma vedanta-vido vadanti
pare pradhanam purusham tathanye
vishvodgateh karanam ishvaram va
tasmai namo vighna-vinashaya

I’ve done all that I can. The rest is left to you and you know what’s best for me…!!

This is a ‘How do I’ week!

Believe it or not, I’ve consumed at least 15 chocolates, 7 of which were chocolate bars and the rest were tiny, heart shaped rum ‘n raisins, between last Saturday and this Tuesday! Nop, I haven’t got bored yet ‘n find the idea of melting another one in my mouth very appealing!! So, how do I get rid of this sweet tooth syndrome?



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I’ve always wanted to drive a car and when I really did start off with it a month back, I simply loved the experience. The 1st couple of days were uneventful (and for a beginner behind the wheels, uneventful days can be branded as GREAT). On the third day, I had stopped at a signal and before I knew what was happening, the car was moving backwards…Once I realized what was happening, I slammed at the break…but too late, it had already kissed (rather forcefully demanded and obtained a kiss on its bum from) the bus which was standing right behind. My car now has a huge dimple on its hind end and I, in turn, am left with an unconquerable panic at the mere thought of driving. How do I get rid of this driving phobia?



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I have 3 assignments to finish by this Saturday and haven’t as much as started with any of them. Not that I have ample time and waste all of it…but I could do better with a little more planning and prioritizing!! How do I find time to plan out thing? And once planned how do I stick to the plan and still handle unforeseen demands for my time!?



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This week started with a bad hair Sunday and has subsequently continued on with a bad hair Monday, BH Tuesday ‘n a BH Wednesday…huh! :-( Dunno what I did to deserve 4 of these bad hair days in as close a succession as they can ever come in!! How do I manage my hair better?



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I set the alarm in my mobile every night and have mastered the art of switching it off in my sleep, when it rings. Came across this some where…

Hope is the dream of the waking man
Dream is the hope of the sleeping man
Sleep is the dream of the working man

…..and found it very disturbing, for sleep seems to be the only thing I always hope for!!! How do I motivate myself and shrug off this languor?



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Do let me know if you have any tips or tricks that would help me with these! Hey..did I mention that I’ve simply turned crazy about skirts and have bought about 8 of them in the last 10 days. Black, blue, red...u name it; I have it!



How do I skirt skirts?? hm? :-/

In a sweet little world...

It was 8.30 and stars were twinkling, happily, in the sky. Little Rini sat by the window of her room with a book on her lap. She could hear the television downstairs. The pine tree that stood close to her window rustled in the wind. On any other night, she would have spent a while with her Father discussing the happenings of the day, brushed her teeth, read a story or two from her favorite fable book and gone to sleep; but tonight was different. She had bypassed all her rituals and had even bluntly refused her Mom’s offer to read her a few stories. She could simply not think about anything else. What would she do tomorrow!?



Her thought process was interrupted by a loud hollow laugh from the room right below hers… ‘Prathap Uncle…hmm!’ she thought ‘Why did he have to be here today?!...shuks!’ Her Dad would have left to UK before she wakes up the next morning! She simply wanted to bring all the clocks in the world to a halt…give them some respite from their never ending chore, and keep her Dad with her. Her little face tightened with an annoyed frown. Somehow her little world seemed to fall apart. Not having her Dad around for a few days would mean too much of a vacuity. As if this wasn’t enough, she has had a fight with the nightmarish PT teacher’s daughter, Nidi, that day. Nidi had promised to convey this to her Mom and get Rini punished during the PT hour the next afternoon. She was sure that she would be caned by the PT teacher, the way Ritosh was when he poured a hand full of mud into Bobby’s ear. What would she do?

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Her heart was heavy and the film of water that had formed in her eyes threatened to wet her cheeks any minute. Pinky had fought with her and wouldn’t have lunch with her. She couldn’t swallow the tiny piece of chapatti that she had in her mouth. She was chewing it noiselessly and with her mouth shut, the way her Dad had told her to. She sat all alone in one corner of the class room. PT hour was just an hour away. She closed her little purple lunch box and put it back in her bag. Pinky was staring at her from another corner of the class room. Rini walked out of the class room to the huge garden on one side of the school. Nobody seemed to care. She sat among the roses and cried her heart out.




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She looked at her little pink watch. The smiling Barbie in the watch didn’t care a damn about this teary state she was in. She kept smiling sweetly. It was 12 minutes to 1. Her Dad had taught her how to read time from a non-digital watch. The more she thought about her Dad, the more she missed him. She sat there swinging her little legs to and fro. ‘He isn’t even aware of this mess I am in. He is so far away!’ she thought.

“Sweetie, shaking your legs like that isn’t a good habit… haven’t I told you before?”

“Daddy…” she whirled around! There he was walking hand in hand with Pinky.



She rushed to him with extended hands and was lifted up as always. A canceled flight and proximity of her School to the airport had brought him back to her just when she needed him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, rested on his shoulder and poured out all her worries to him. Her Father resolved all her problems and hand shakes with Nidi and Pinky happened in a jiffy. He even spoke to her PT teacher (who amazingly smiled as she spoke to her Dad) and took Rini with him.

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In a short while she found herself sitting in the car with the seat belt on, licking a choc bar and discussing her classmates with her Dad.

“Daddyyy…”

“Yes Sweetieee…”

*giggle* “…You said ‘sweetie’ in just the same tone that I used for ‘daddy’….Why did you do that Daddy?.... Are you a copy cat? “ *giggle*

“ hmm… so, you say I shouldn’t imitate you! Yeah?”

“Imiatee… What does that mean?”…

“Its IMITATE honey……..



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“ Daddyyy… Is the PT teacher scared of you?”…..

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“Why did you call me ‘Sweetie’ when Pinky was with you?...I’m a grown up gal, can’t you understand?? …”

“Am sorry honey………………….

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As the car sped through the picturesque roads of that hilly town, there were at least two souls perfectly in harmony with life and there was at least one little soul who resolutely believed that there isn’t anything that her Dad can’t possibly accomplish in this world!



This story is a queer blend of past incidents and future prospects, and is dedicated to two people
1) My Dad whose birthday is round the corner- All through my life, amidst problems of various sorts, I’ve derived tremendous strength from the unflinching affection of my Father. Hats off to his dedication towards work and his crude affection for the ones dear to him!
2) A Man who, I think, will make a wonderful Father when the time comes (dunno when!?) – I’m yet to meet a more patient and level headed soul. His kid/s (when they begin to exist) could certainly be considered most fortunate!

Cupid in action

There he was, sitting right across the table, with ruffled hair and gleaming eyes. He was dressed in jeans, a white T-shirt and a white and blue, stripped shirt over it. I was in one of my favorite black spaghetti straps and pink jeans with a black shawl carefully wrapped ‘carelessly’ around my neck. I had on a pendent with shimmering grey stones that shone in the semi darkness. The light from the candle, the neat little restaurant, tasty food, him, sitting there, savoring the food, his occasional chatter about things that he had either read or heard of, with a pinch of simplicity, a teaspoon of practicality and in a ‘I know it, I am the creator of this theory and I’m confident about it’ tone…for a while life seemed too complete and too perfect to be true.

This would be our last dinner together and as I sat looking at the Man who sat right across from me, I simply couldn’t help wondering…

What could it be?? ......

He always looks around curiously like a young feline, alert and passionate for details- Could that be it?, I wonder!

His thirst for knowledge and perfection that motivates me to be better…Could that be it?

The way he sometimes blurts things that could annoy me and once done, the way he looks at me with searching eyes to know if I’m hurt….

The way he cares for me, holds me tight and walks me through life…..

Our never ending tussles over EVERYTHING…..

He, pacifying me after a strenuous fight…

He not doing it sometimes…

The Parent in him, who chides me all day…

The Child in him that’s too angelic and sweet at times and driving me crazy at other times...

The Man; who makes me want to have him alllll to myself alwaysss…

The way he yells…

His silence…like the deep sea…

His smile, that makes me forget everything that’s unpleasant …

He being my best friend and faithful companion…

The way he simply melts my problems into nothing, by his mere presence…



I could keep thinking all day about him, about things that I like in him and new things that I discover everyday and fall in love with….but, what could it be…??

‘Hey, what are you thinking??’ he asked, with that trillion dollar smile of his. I simply nodded and smiled, but kept thinking as we had our last dinner of 2005 together! ;-)

What is it that holds me hostage?? What is it that has cast a spell and made me his? What is it that makes me fall head long in love, over and over again with this ‘stranger’? I know not….but I shall definitely wait to see him again, for him to hold me tight, to melt my problems into nothing and for us to have our first dinner of 2006 together!

Can life be any more perfect than it is?

Dedicated to HIM, of course!! ;-)

Luscious stuff- Just for you!!!

From the bottom of my broken heart:

It’s as if we had the New Year eve bash a couple of weeks back and now the year is more or less out of my hands like a kite, held loosely, slipping out of ones grip and flying away!

I just can’t believe that it’s over so soon. It’s been a year of surprises for me, a few of them pleasant and the rest of them very unpleasant. I haven’t grown much…well....I haven’t grown at all, in any sense. There have been many changes in my life. In the middle of all the hush and rush, I’ve even missed out the first anniversary of this messy corner….not that it’s important, ‘cos it’s more dead than alive. Many thanks to me.

I’ve initiated several things this year, but I simply haven’t produced any results. When I sit back and appraise myself, I look dull compared to so many people I know, people of my age…some of them even younger, who have produced strongly positive results. Every year, till now, has had something to be happy about at the end of it; something significant; something that would act as a motivator to help me go ahead. Somehow, this year, I’m left with nothing of the sort. It’s been unfathomably and incredibly static. What have I not done??..or what have I done??, I’m yet to figure out!



Have been thinking about it for the past few days (YES, the weekend was terrible). Possibly, things were just not destined to work out for me this year. Possibly, I just didn’t do things right! Possibly I didn’t do the right things at all. Probably I wasn’t committed enough. Possibly, this is a curse on me for some misdeed. The list can go on…but the bottom line is, I’m left with a year washed out of my hands….I’m left with nothing…not even the confidence to go on!

It could have been luck (or the lack of it), it could have been destiny but it could have been a little better than it is, had I put in more effort. I can only blame myself, my lack of commitment and my lethargy! This isn’t the first time I’m making a mistake in life and this certainly wouldn’t be the last.

Today I don’t have a success story behind me that compels me to maintain any standards. I only have a painfully strong desire to grow, to achieve, to excel, to be a winner, to simply be the very best. I know not, how I’ll fill the gap between what is and what I wish for!

The force that’s held my hand and led me through the woods and valleys of life will certainly elevate me out of this dark pit. The needs of the hour are patience, focus and commitment. This phase too shall pass!

Dear blog pal, I’m glad you took time out to read this post which has nothing of interest or significance. To make up for all the lethargy and defocus, I shall write a post on this gap, on 27th Dec 2006 by which time, I hope to have closed it entirely and started off filling other gaps. This is a promise I make to myself and to every reader of this blog. Let this kite fly away and diminish into a tiny speck of color against the bright blue sky. There are many more kites to fly; kites that I’ll handle with great care and will find myself happily releasing when the time comes! Have a wonderful year!!!! :-)